The rules of the road, from inside the mind of someone who drives an SUV:
1. "Turn signal? Why would I use that? Everyone else should watch where I'm going and anticipate my movements. What a burden to have to push that tiny lever up and down!"
2. "Blind spot? Why should I check my blind spot? Everyone should move out of my way!"
3. "Speed limits? On residential streets? Those are just recommendations! I don't need to obey those!"
4. "Stop sign? I only need to slow down... slightly... for those."
5. "What do those white broken lines mean again?"
6. "I would like to sit in your backseat with you, while remaining in my own car. Isn't that the proper distance at which to follow another vehicle?"